Setting a routine pt 2

The other day I shared a little bit about the method we chose to help us set a routine with our little one and how it was working. I'm here today to share how it has been going after we gave it a little bit of tweaking.

Here's a quick recap:
-We chose to follow Tracy Hogg's The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems.
-We started out on day 1 implementing her EASY method, but struggled getting her to sleep on her own. She loved being in our arms or on our chests a zillion times more than the pack n' play or crib.
-We sought out a little bit of advice from my friend that used Ms. Hogg's method with her kids, which leads us into part 2, how EASY looks now...

How does EASY look at a glance now (8 weeks+)?
E-I feed for 20-45 minutes every 3 hours during the day.
A-We change her diaper, have face-to-face time, tummy/back time, mirror time, Bumbo and toy time, etc. She typically has a 30-45 minute activity time.
S-We put her down in her crib for the remaining 1 1/2 hours or so.
Y-You time is splendid these days.

How does EASY look in a 24 hour period?
6:00am-Peter gets her from her crib, whether she is awake already or needs to be woken up. He feeds her a bottle of pumped milk and I sit next to them and pump.**
(We opted to start at 6am so that Peter could feed her before work, so we are on a 6, 9, 12, 3 schedule every day. If we happen to oversleep we go ahead and feed when the 3 of us wake up and I feed again at 9 no matter what time we woke up.)
6:15am-Peter changes her diaper (if she is going to make a poopie it is typically within 10 minutes of a feed) and has a relaxed activity time with her since she is normally still petty groggy.
7:00am-Peter puts her in her crib, wraps up her bottom half with an Aden + Anais blanket and she goes to sleep. I normally boil bottle and pump items, start a load of laundry or stuff diapers that were washed the night before, get ready for the day, and eat breakfast.
9:00am-I go in and get her from her crib and feed her.
9:30am-She gets a diaper change and has tummy/back activity time on her play mat. Lately she's been hanging out on the mat for about 20 minutes or so entertaining herself. Once she shows signs of fussiness I pick her up and we just chill for a little bit until she shows me that she's sleepy.
10:15-10:30am (ish)-She's back in her crib to sleep.
12:00pm-I go in and get her from her crib for a feed.
12:30pm-She gets a diaper change and has mirror time and a little bit of toy time. Again, once she shows signs of fussiness I pick her up and we just chill for a little bit until she shows me that she's sleepy.
1:15-1:30pm (ish)-She's back in her crib to sleep.
3:00pm-I go in and get her from her crib for a feed.
3:30pm-She gets a diaper change and has Bumbo or swing time with toys or me reading her some books. Once she shows signs of fussiness I pick her up and we just chill for a little bit until she shows me that she's sleepy.
4:15-4:30pm (ish)-She's back in her crib to sleep.
6:00pm-Peter gets her from her crib for a feed. This time I give her both sides to help fill her up.
6:45pm-She gets a diaper change and hangs out with us for face-to-face time, stories, songs, and "sit-ups".
7:15-7:20pm (ish)-She gets a bath from Daddy and Mommy. We have our routine down to 5 minutes start to finish and she loves it!
7:20-7:25pm (ish)-Daddy puts on her diaper, gets her dressed, and fully swaddles her all while singing her songs of worship.
7:30pm-She's in her crib for the night. If Brynlee wakes up in the middle of the night it is simply because she has broken out of her swaddle and needs to be re-wrapped. After wrapped she is back to sleep within 15 minutes.

How did we get EASY to be so easy?
We know that it takes 3 days to teach/break a habit for a baby so after talking with my friend we spent the next 3 days teaching her to self-soothe. We spent 3 days setting an actual time schedule (of course it can be altered and vary a little) and working on getting her to sleep in her crib. After about 48 hours she had it down. Of course she still cries and gets upset but she knows what to expect and how to sleep on her own which is exactly what we wanted, her to know she can trust us and to feel rested.

We always had the EASY routine, we just didn't set a schedule. Some parents and children are fine without having a set time schedule but it made it difficult for us to know what times the next day's feeds would be since we didn't know how long she'd sleep through the night. As I mentioned earlier, we chose the schedule we did because it worked best for Peter's work.

We chose to use cues to help her learn the routine and after sticking with them for the full 3 days they worked like a charm. Here's the cues we use:

-Every time she is woken up/gotten out of her crib we say "time to get up," pick her up, walk her around a little bit, and then feed her. Now she knows when it's "time to get up" that it's time to eat.

-Every time we feed her and have activity time we keep the overhead light on. During the chill time and sleep the lights are off (except for a dim light in the living room or nightlight in her bedroom).

-Every time we go in to change her diaper we say "let's go change your diaper" so that she doesn't think we're putting her down to sleep. We opted to do this phrasing after seeing that several times she cried when we put her on the changing pad because she thought we were going to leave her to sleep.

-After activity and chill time we say "time to go to sleep" when we take her in to her room.

-During the day we swaddle her bottom half and keep her arms free. After bath when it's time for bed we swaddle her completely.

-Once she is swaddled we say "sweet dreams" and leave the room, closing the door behind us.

Of course there are times when she is upset while in her crib so here's what we do then:
-We listen to her cries. She has a few different cackles and a specific cry that tells us that she's sleepy and 9 times out of 10 she puts herself to sleep after letting out a few of these sounds. If she starts to really cry we give her 30-60 seconds to try to calm herself down to her cackle. If she is unable to calm herself:

-We go in and tell her "it's okay," pat her chest/rub her cheek, and say "sweet dreams" and walk out within 10 seconds.
-Once out, if she hasn't stopped after 10 seconds we go back in and pat her chest/rub her cheek and go back out. (We don't say anything else from this point on.)
-If she hasn't stopped after 20 seconds we go back in and pat her chest/rub her cheek and go back out.
-If she hasn't stopped after 40 seconds we go back in and pat her chest/rub her cheek and go back out.
-If she hasn't stopped after 80 seconds we go back in and pat her chest/rub her cheek and go back out. (After this time you repeat the 80 seconds until needed. If she really can't calm herself down we pick her up and calm her and then put her back down.)

Tip: The most important thing here is to learn a baby's different cries. While Peter was gone for a week in January I had to really learn all of her noises and cries so that I could survive so now we know which cackles and cries are her simply saying "I'm sleepy" and which ones are saying "I need to know you're here" or "I'm not happy".

For the past month, including the first 3 days, we've only had to enter a second 80 second time once. Most of the time we don't have to enter at all, but if we do it typically is not right after putting her down. She normally makes her sleepy noises for 10 minutes or so but after that is asleep. There are times when she is woken up from a noise (typically Butter) or she wakes up 30 minutes early for a feed and just hangs out in her crib. It's these times when we may or may not have to go in to calm her down once or twice. I really don't even think we're going in because she can't calm herself, I think it's more so to let her know that it isn't quite time to get up. Of course we have times where we choose to get her up early and when we do we keep the lights off to keep things relaxed until the feed so we don't mess up the routine as she knows it.

Day in and day out this routine and schedule have worked tremendously well for our little family. Of course we have feeds that start a 5-10 minutes early or a few minutes late, but it isn't a big deal. We base her activity time length on her. Sometimes she likes to hang out for 45 minutes after a feed, other times, especially after the early feed, she tends to get tired within 20 minutes or so. The routine helps us see patterns and more of her personality. She isn't a fan of being moved around a lot, like when guests are visiting and she keeps being passed around; it tends to cause her to get fussy quickly.

We couldn't be more grateful for this routine and how much it has helped all three of us get our rest and cherish our time together even more.


**-After being in the hospital and having to pump, then top her off once we got home we decided to keep up the pumping. Peter has given Brynlee a bottle after the longest stretch of sleep from pretty much day 1. During the first month or so this allowed me to sleep through a feed which was heavenly. Once it was time for me to get up I'd either pump before her next feed or wait until after. We'd save out what was needed for the next bottle feed and freeze the rest. Now I pump while he feeds her in the morning. I save what is needed for the next morning's feed in a new bottle and the rest I store in the freezer.